#HarryandMeghanonNetflix

Ordinarily, I would not have watched the three episodes of the Harry & Meghan documentary that aired on Neflix this past week. I would not have watched because the topic of the Royals is not something of great interest to me, not to say I'm oblivious of the trending news involving the Monarchy from time to time. The way the hashtag on the docie trended got the curious me to see what it was all about that had triggered such a backlash.

It is very important that I declare upfront that I was a fan of Meghan Markle when she played Rachel on the series Suits way back in the day (I watched the first three or four seasons and lost interest along the way). Coupled with the fact that she is of mixed race (and therefore regarded as black 🙄), this may result in some bias on my part. I  however tried to be as objective as I could, though I do acknowledge that there is always an element of unconscious bias in all of us hence it is important to be constantly challenging our worldview. Why do we believe the things that we believe in? What evidence is there to support that view? Is our worldview cast in stone or we are willing to challenge it if new information comes to light that contradicts what we have long held to be true?

Going through the three episodes, I did not see anything hugely controversial to trigger the backlash mostly from the British press and social media. I saw a couple in love. I saw a couple sharing their lived experiences. I saw a couple sharing their battle with media attention. I saw a couple that chose non conformity. Again, this could have been through my biased lence. One thing is sure though and this I have noticed again and again. In this age of social media, people have an opinion about literally everything and they would even die defending that opinion no matter how uninformed or flawed it may be 🤷‍♂️.

This I find very problematic because, everyone has a unique lived experience that only they can tell and one thing that we cannot do is to dictate how people tell their stories. Granted that at times the stories are not told in a perfect way because beneath those stories are years of trauma and wounds that are still healing. Therefore, how the stories are told and the choice of words used become really semantics when considered within the context of the underlying story. It is unfortunate that in certain instances, people then hold on to how a story is told and completely miss the story itself. Sometimes, it is possible that the way the stories are told may make us uncomfortable. The question then becomes whether to silence those voices or deal with our discomfort. Agreed that there are certain stories that may turn out to be exaggerated but this not good enough a reason to silence voices that are yearning to be heard.

It takes empathy to understand and sympathise with someone's lived experiences even though you cannot relate. It is not easy to understand a person from a disadvantaged background if all you have known is privilege. It is not always easy to comprehend the full impact of racism if you are on the other side of the divide. It is almost always difficult as a male to understand the negative impacts of patriarchy when you daily enjoy the fruits of it. It is difficult to understand the damage caused by tribalism when you come from the tribe that benefits from it, and the list goes on.

The best ever thing we can do to people who gather courage to tell their stories is to listen, at times that is all they need from us - just listening. Are there people who have abused the platforms they were given by putting across false narratives? Absolutely, but given a choice, I would rather give someone the benefit of doubt. The world would be richer if only we could listen to each other's experiences a little more. It hurts to realise that someone somewhere will never share their story because they know that no one will ever believe them.

Life was never meant to be a template although many of us take the easier route of conformity. Once in a while, there will be courageous people who are willing to risk it all and shred the so called template as we know it and go against the tide by chartering their own path into the unknown. Such should be encouraged and celebrated because many of people who have changed the world did so by making a choice to be different. Come to think of it, had Harry conformed by marrying 'right' and toured the line by continuing with his royal duties (as William), most of this controversy would not be there. He made a choice, and will certainly suffer the consequences.

Maybe the coming episodes of the #HarryandMerghanonNetflix will be explosive deserving the current backlash but I have not seen that in what I have watched thus far. Whether the couple is indeed toxic or not, i will let you be the jury. Again, I will acknowledge that I might have been watching through my lence tainted with bias. However, I hope we introspect from time to time about the opinions we hold regarding certain people or issues and that we give contrary views a chance - it is always enriching.

*Side note 1 - we do not need to have an opinion about everything, sometimes, it is perfectly fine to say, "I don't have enough information to form an opinion."

*Side note 2 - Not all stories will validate our worldview. Some stories with expose our prejudices, it is also still fine.